There is no doubt about it that even the best of relationships at times can be hard to hand. In order to keep them alive and dynamic you have to constantly work on them in one way or the other.
It won’t be wrong to say that the right chemistry between two people can only last longer if they communicate well with each other. Therefore communication is the key to a healthy relationship, but not all of us know the art of communicating well. To help you out with your problem here are three most important tips to improve communication between you and your spouse.
Fabulous Ways To Communicate Better With Your Spouse
Be Patient, Especially With Your Listening Skills.
This is one I have an issue with and I am actively working on. I’ve noticed that my kids take after me in the “listening” department so I definitely need to lead with my actions. It is as important to listen to your spouse’s views as it is to state your own (again, work in progress). Sometimes it may be difficult to put your differences aside and hear the other person out when you have your own views.
If you don’t pay attention to what your spouse wants to say then you will lose that connection with him or her and run the risk of finding yourself in a relationship where only you exist; such relationships don’t last very long. So pretty much, the key here is to be patient and listen – let your spouse speak WITHOUT INTERRUPTION. No matter how stupid, crazy or absurd he sounds, men crave respect. They crave knowing that they are being heard, so just listening will improve your communication with him/her.
Pay Attention To The Non-Verbal Cues He/She Is Giving
So the above might not apply to all because not all spouses are super vocal. Sometimes our lovers are quiet or shy or tend not to share how they feel. So now we gotta get all super spy and observant of them because in this case, actions will speak louder than words. So look for these non-verbal signs; these could be stress from work, illnesses or other reasons; your partner may need you.
Here are just a few:
- Folded arms. This act may mean that your spouse is feeling closed off or defensive – he or she may be creating an unintentional distance between the two of you. I’ve done that before when I feel defensive or not heard. So you have to handle this sign very carefully; give your partner some room and time to relax, but be there whenever he or she needs you; don’t make yourself emotionally unavailable at the time when your partner is ready to “unfold the arms.”
- Louder tone. Louder tone can mean a few things (outside of just yelling). It could mean anxiety, stress, anger or even sadness. Tones could even get louder at times when your spouse is struggling to express his or her feelings. So when you see this happening let your spouse speak; step back and just listen to what they are saying; tell them you understand their concerns and give weight to them. Now this doesn’t mean you need to take if they are making you feel bad or saying mean things to you, but see what is going on with them. Right around when Chad’s dad died, I don’t think he could communicate the sadness and anger he felt and he would raise his voice, not necessarily towards me but I think he just didn’t know how to cope.
- Avoiding eye contact. This is universally seen as disinterest, feeling ashamed or finding the situation difficult. You can do a number of things to deal with this; you could either change the conversation for the time being or discuss it later or you could tell your spouse that there is nothing he or she can’t discuss with you. Give them a hug or utter a few encouraging words to let them know they can always look you in the eye, but the key is not to push them to much; let them take their time.
Be Honest & Encourage Honesty
Every relationship has its ups and downs, but handling them with lies or to “withhold” the truth is not a strong foundation for a relationship. I remember my ex would ALWAYS accuse me of cheating on him, only to find out for the 2 years we were together he was cheating on me the whole time. While I know this is a bit far fetched, I looked back at our whole relationship as a lie. I vowed to never tell lies in any of my next relationships because of what this douchasaurus did to me.
Healthy relationships are built on honesty, so its vital that you’re honest with your spouse in order to get the same level of honesty in return. Proper communication can only take place when you’re open about the bigger things in your life because even a small lie can put irrevocable cracks in your relationship.
These are just a few ways to communicate better with your spouse. Obviously, some things work better for others so make sure you change it to fit your relationship and your needs. And share with me! How do you communicate with your spouse?