When it comes to being in relationships and communicating, I’m not that great at it. I was an only child and I like to use that excuse as long as I can get away with it (just kidding, kind of).
Growing up, it was just me. I even moved out of my house at 16 and went to college, living in the dorms at 17. I’ve had this sense of independence or as Chad likes to call it, “The I do what I want” syndrome. I will say this, for the last almost 6 years, it has been hard but I think it has gotten significantly better than what it was before.
How To Effectively Communicate In Relationships
Don’t Assume Anything – Ladies, we have had this issue before and I’ve heard my friends and their husbands or boyfriends say the same exact thing. I would get upset with Chad assuming he knew what I wanted him to do or where I wanted to take me and by the end of the night, we’re fighting over me assuming Chad has become a psychic and can read exactly what my mind is telling him. Just tell him/her and get over believing that they should “just know.”
No Relationship is 50/50 – Why? What would happen if I gave work 50% of me? What would happen if I gave my kids just 50% of me? Relationships are about each of you giving 100% of each other. While love does conquer all, love without communication is a recipe for a disaster and I have found out I don’t do relationship disaster very well. Just give all of yourself.
Laugh – Chad and I choose to laugh with each other a lot. This hasn’t always been the case, there was a point where we didn’t know if we would make it to the next day. We’ve come such a long way as far as taking the time to see each other smile and make sure that we each get some sort of laugh in today. I suppose all he has to do is see me in my ducky fuzzy pants and that’s a good enough laugh :/. Laughing helps to move communication forward without having the tension there.
Compliment Them In Public and Private – With other relationships I found that I belittled my ex to people I didn’t know and I didn’t realize how that affected how I thought of them. Now I’m not talking about if you’re with a good friend and you’re getting advice. I have girlfriends where we go to tell each other the amazing things our significant others have done and when we need advice or need help learning how to deal with the knuckle head things they’ve done too. But, I’ve also been in a grocery store line with a woman and her husband and I could hear how she was upset that he got something wrong and just went on and on about how stupid he was.
I’m going to say this right now. I don’t care how in love I am with someone if Chad ever called me stupid in public or private, it would take everything I had not to punch him the balls. Hey, I’m just being honest. Making them feel good shouldn’t be a chore, that is why you’re in a relationship, to make the other person feel good. If that isn’t the case, then you need to think about why you’re in a relationship in the first place, doll face.
Be Open To Feedback WITHOUT Getting Defensive – This has been the hardest one for me personally. When Chad wants to tell me something I can improve on, then I want to tell him something he can improve on just not as nicely as he told me because I feel like he’s criticizing me. This is a belief that was taught to me as a child so this is a work in progress for me, but I must say that in almost 6 years I have gotten way better at listening and understanding where he’s coming from.
These are just a few tips that I have learned with my relationships. What are some tips you have to make communication and your relationship better?